I know telling everyone about my stroke is extremely important, but sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. And you know if I'm uncomfortable because I either turn my head and do something else or make funny faces. Shynessor humor, that's what you get.
It's great being 5'9" when you can walk normally. But it isn't when you are in a wheelchair. You don't really fit in beds, wheelchairs and stuff need to be custom fit and most people ( especially girls, who I usually exercise with ) are shorter than me, so I can't do all my exercises correctly. I am just glad I am 6'0" like I dreamt.
This whole time I was grateful about my stroke for knowing who is truly immature and mature.I didn't even think about the marriage and kids thing. What that means is, I get to see tons of marriage and parenting advice. And that is thrilling to know how great of a wife and mother I will get to be. I just feel really lucky. Some people choose to see my stroke as bad, but I am extremely grateful.
Guys you probably want to skip this post because I am going to talk about my period. So I am happy to say I am the strongest I have been in a long time. But I am sad to say my horrible period cramps are back. When I get them I know I start in about a week. Man when I was on birth control I knew the day. There is good thing about birth control. Lol In all seriousness, birth control can be a great thng I think birth control is great if you talk to your doctor and get tested.
I love anything about food. I love to cook and eat! I come from a long line of great cooks. I have cooked ever since I can remember. In fact my Mom and grandmother say when I was little, toddler age, as soon as I would hear pots and pans I would run in the kitchen, grab a chair and say " Stir, stir, stir ". So you can imagine how much I hate not cooking and not eating what I want. I can't eat what I want or I would be the size of a house. I love eating healthy but I feel bad, right now, if I splurge.
Part of me wants to get married, you know for better for worse and all that jazz. The til deth part bothers me. Being married 50 or so years and somebody dieing and the other being miserable. No thanks. Then the other part of me gets anxiety thinking one person for the rest of my life. I never even said I love you to a boyfriend and... I can't breath.
I went swimming yesterday and it was great but... You know me I didn't think I kicked enough. So when I got home I made myself lean forward and back a bunch. I know I am super hard on myself but I am a perfectionist and exercising is all I can control right now.
Whenever somebody claims to be too traumatized or too sad to see me I want to yell boo f n hoo. Do you seriously think I want do to take time out of my day To put up with your traumatized ass. Let me think umm no.
You may not agree with me on this but I think everything is for a reason and when it is your time it is your time. I have to think my stroke was meant fot a reason or I would go crazy. I could have easily died during my stroke but didn't.
It is annoying when people say " o I couldn't handle this or that ". Well you don't know what you can handle til the shit hits the fan. When I had the stroke I didn't think I could hI could sit in if the corner and andle it but I handle it everyday. I could sit in if the corner and cry or laugh and smile everyday. I think I can handle laughing and smiling everyday.
This is probably wrong to think. But when an able bodied person complains about wanting to lose weight. I think " Get your ass up and go outside ". I wish I could go jog right now or do squats. But I do what I can do.
It is supposed to snow tomorrow. I love it and hate it. It is pretty but it reminds me that I am in a wheelchair. I mean I know I am in a wheelchair but snow just clinches what I can't do / get invited to do.