I love anything about food. I love to cook and eat! I come from a long line of great cooks. I have cooked ever since I can remember. In fact my Mom and grandmother say when I was little, toddler age, as soon as I would hear pots and pans I would run in the kitchen, grab a chair and say " Stir, stir, stir ". So you can imagine how much I hate not cooking and not eating what I want. I can't eat what I want or I would be the size of a house. I love eating healthy but I feel bad, right now, if I splurge.
Part of me wants to get married, you know for better for worse and all that jazz. The til deth part bothers me. Being married 50 or so years and somebody dieing and the other being miserable. No thanks. Then the other part of me gets anxiety thinking one person for the rest of my life. I never even said I love you to a boyfriend and... I can't breath.
I went swimming yesterday and it was great but... You know me I didn't think I kicked enough. So when I got home I made myself lean forward and back a bunch. I know I am super hard on myself but I am a perfectionist and exercising is all I can control right now.