My Mom and I found and had converted to DVD some of my old home videos from right before my stroke. I like watching those videos because they're funny and physically ( walking and talking ) I want to be that girl again but mentally never again. Drinking beer and smoking pot pretty much every night to forget about my day? That is actually really sad. Days were filled with stress and anxiety and my night just drowned it all away.That is why I'm so grateful for my stroke .