Because of my stroke coming out of nowhere I've learned you can't really plan anything, but when I get this degree in Behavioral Science I think I want to be a counselor (a birth control counselor). But that isn't a plan universe, I said think
So the sorority canceled me for this weekend, and yes I cried about not being able to go and educate about the dangers of birth control, but make lemonade out of lemons and move on them saying no is just a bump in the road. "Make your letter better Jessica and try again"
I think i want to be a birth control counselor. Doing so much research for my paper is really opening my eyes and I feel like all the girls that died from birth control complications are pushing me like "Go for it get the word out "
At my witts end with this class. It doesn't accept all my Dynavox commands so like every so often I have to ask someone to plug in my keyboard and push like control A...O I was boohooin last night ready to give up. But it's halfway through and I just have to push through it
I feel like the world's biggest hypocrite.I have two embarrassing admissions.The first is really my hinderance. Because of the fall I'm taking a narcotic pain pill sometimes.Sometimes! This one is really bad...Im taking a hormone shot. Because of my blood disorder it causes me to have alot of gynecological issues.And one we think is me possibly having endometriosis.And the shot immensely helps with the horrible pain.It stops my period and that stopping makes the pain go away.I got the first one a few months ago and it lasts for 3 months,so it's time for another one...The doctor and my family and my friends are all like "Its good and it works.There is no question.Get it again"Ummmm it's my body and it really really really scares me and I don't know ...
Pretty much better from my fall, well I look a lot better but my body still hurts. Finally have my dynavox back today, but this experience did show me something. My grandmother gave me her Nook and I found out I can use it with a stylus in my right hand!!
Went to see Jurassic World yesterday in IMAX 3D the and the dinosaurs were so real one came out and attacked me! Actually I fell down 8 steps. Im fine! Just some bruises, rug burns and 6 stitches. It really looks worse than it feels! My muscles and scrapes hurt more than my stitches right now. Im very lucky! The movie was great by the way
Sorry I have not blogged lately. School is keeping me really busy. I love it and everything! But it is really time consuming and not easy. I feel like a friggin idiot with most of my answers. It's embarrassing! I have not really done this kind of stuff since before my stroke so it's hard and completely different having to use my Dynavox now
Omg there is not enough time in the day or week! I feel like crying it's so much work for me. In the time it takes you to type a page it takes me to type a sentence! I don't need help I just want 5 minutes to complain
So my trying to eat less meat diet I have done for the past few years is done ( kind of) and I'm not happy! The drink they made me have for more protein tasted horrible and made me gain weight so I quit taking it. Because my blood disorder they have to check my bloods PT and INR for its clotting time when they do that they have to also check my albumin ( protein levels ). And because I don't like to eat much meat it's low, like really low lol. Its supposed to be 3. 3-6 and mine is 3. 8. So it's either the drink or more meat ( or my sneaking in meatless protein )
Check out my pretty new chair! It even smells new .I think I'll name her Emmie since she's emerald-green .I told someone a long time ago I would donate my chair when I was done with it and I got t do that today!
It's so frustrating when PT let's me do things by myself and I fold.Like when we stand or something they slowly take their hands off me to see if I can do it by myself and I feel it or see it and get scared and buckle .Mentally I know I'm capable of the independence but I have been relying on other people so long it's scary to me .And what's worse is that nobody understands my fear .
Watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday and these shows always suck me in and makes me think .I like my new normal .As much as I don't like to admit this the old me doesn't exist anymore and this new me is awesome!
So I've started something really exciting,extra physical therapy at a rehab! It's going really good and hopefully I'll have pictures soon. I forgot how funny and inappropriate the positions my PTs get me in .I want to crack up about it with them but most of them are students and learning
Eating humble pie! So a couple years ago my friend Natja told me " Write a book about your story because moms will read it and tell their daughters and then they will go to your blog ". For years her, my family and other friends said to me " Write a book " and my excuse was always " No because young people are more likely to read my blog than a book ". Moms are definitely asking me now questions about my blood disorder and they are going to give my book to their daughter. And then they look at my blog. So I was half right!
It feels awesome to give my book to somebody and then they give it to somebody else after. This feeling is like the greatest high ever! The spreading the knowledge of the dangers of birth control is more important than money
I love feeding myself and helping with my care but it's embarrassing when people stare at me. I get enough gawking in public and don't need it here too. OT got me a new semi permanent left handed pole to feed myself and I did it at dinner but I felt like screaming " it is not that big of deal quit starring! "
I feel bad for thinking this but it's like so many good things are happening in my life right now from the book to getting a scholarship for school to getting to start extra physical therapy soon and when is my luck going to run out .You pulled the rug out from me before when everything was good so I'm ready this time around .I don't want to think this but fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me