This is kind of cheesy of me,but I can't help giggling and giving myselfa metaphorical pat on the backwhen I accomplish something I couldn't do before.I just feel so proud of me,it might be simple and mundaneto you like flicking a switch, but it's a big deal to me
Omg finally! I didn't get to tell you all theresults of my ultrasound because my Dynavox ( talker/ computer) brokeand was sent out to get fixed.Turns out I do have a left ovarian cyst. But it's too small for to do anything.When it flares up I just stay doped up because it hurts like a bitch!
So my mom got my paperwork for driving school! Im not nieve into thinking the driving school is going to immediately say yes, here is your license. I want them to evaluate me and say not yet but work on this. Put yourself in my shoes and have everything taken from you. Wouldn't you ask?
It is cold and rainy outside today .But the other day it was warm and sunny and I was outside enjoying the sun and realized something .My underwear area has not seen the light of day in 9 years !My upper body gets the sun but my lower body doesn't get much if any sun.
So I got some really bad news last week .My grandmother has stage three ovarian cancer .She is doing better than me because I'm a crying mess .And I have complete confidence in her to beat this because I know how strong she is .And also when I was little she promised me that she would stick around to see my first baby .So I'm putting my foot down and saying she IS going to beat this ...But then again I have lost two other grandparents so I should hope for the best and prepare for the worst .
Today was a great day! Walked 9 laps in the pool followed by a good weight lifting session and topped off by my new bumper stickers and business cards arriving! Great day! Email me your mailing address if you want any. Or come get them. If you have an old bumper sticker please get a new one. These are green with a smaller font (I thought it was bigger but o well )
I was thinking .When I get to walking it's going to be like I've been in a coma since 2004.Technology is really different from then.The last cell phone I had was a flip phone with actual buttons .I have heard of a Redbox but I have never physically seen oy.I could go on and on ,its going to be really mind blowing for me .
I have noticed something since my stroke that I have not really communicated before .Its kind of obvious but I just don't talk about it .Since my stroke I can't really have conversations like everybody else .The back and forth banter isn't really there .So I get more things just told to me .But I really need to ask people more questions
I always feel bad when I cry about memories. I want to be like "I cry easy it is not really you "Yesterday two of my friends were describing to me their dream weddings and the dresses and everything .And about 2 minutes into them describing the pink bridesmaid dresses I couldn't hold it in any longer and I bursted into tears . They didn't know why until I explained .My childhood friend asked me to be in her wedding a few months before my stroke ,but after we got our cute pink bridesmaid dresses I had my stroke about 3 weeks before her wedding .Hence the tears . I guess I'm too selfish about certain things
I actually want to talk about a subject I have avoided talking about in this blog.It is my favorite subject to talk about,but the not having it in my life right now is frankly embarrassing for me.I'm just going to rip-off the Band-aid and say it dating and sex. I just know I'm going to get emails from my family,Jessica Maria you shouldn't talk about that.But you all deserve the truth .I haven't really been in a relationship or had sex since my stroke .There I said it !I don't think I could truly date someone while in the wheelchair .Don't they say you can't love someone else until you love yourself ,and quite frankly I don't love myself in the chair .The whole no sex thing sucks though lol.
I have been starting to feed myself lately with my left hand and you would think that because before my stroke I was left handed it would be easy for me ,but it's not .My body has been using mostly my right side for the past 9 years and my left arm feels almost foreign to me .But I don't give my left arm enough credit for what it is capable of . I know it has been a long time but it is still weird for me to talk about my body not comprehending like that
I hate having to lie and fake happiness to somebody. Two of my friends are going on a trip this weekend to near my hometown and I'm genuinely happy for them,butwhen they told me I was like fighting back the tears
Well my index toenail is pretty much gone now. Lol! There was an evacuation drill and pool had me in a shower chair and rushed me and my legs are long and before I could scream there it went partially off. It hurt but it's really funny! O well that toenail was about to come off anyway. Man I'm just falling apart, my right cheek is broken out and people keep running me into shit!
I'm embarrassed to admit it,but lately I've been a bit lax in my exercising and trying to do activities on my own.I think because my body was progressing physically so fast it scared me and part of me wished I miraculously get better and fast forward through being scared.But I like to be scared,I need to scared to do better.So today is a new day!
So I've been researching like crazy my blood clotting disorder and found out some interesting things, it's kind of common, I'm supposed to start taking certain vitamins ( because I have a deficiency ) and I have to increase my intake of certain foods ( dairy,meat and fish ). I already told the doctor about the vitamins and I can increase my dairy and fish consumption. But meat, seriously? I don't like meat! Let me get back to you on how much meat.
I found out the name of my blood clotting disorder, MTHFR a1298c. I guess ignorance is bliss and I just figured I didn't know I even had it before my stroke so why care now? But then I realized I need to educate myself to educate others and if you youtube this lady named Jamie Horn, I had the same symptoms as her before my stroke!
2 Last night during dinner at my aunt and uncle's my brother was telling us his boss got some hot sauce called ass blaster and my mom laughed so hard she spit out her drink in the rice bowl for everybody! And the really funny part was that my brother and I were the only ones to see it and her mortified face after! On the way home my mom kept saying how embarrassing that was, as my brother and I are still laughing hysterically. I gotta find that hot sauce.
I never really know how people sometimes will take my usually blunt honesty about bodily functions and generally okay with nudity. Being in my situation and both my parents in the medical field and a little brother that openly talked about his bodily functions, I don't really get embarrassed to announce that stuff or be seen naked. But I know not everybody can handle it.
I don't know how to feel today. It's either an off day or I'm having an Aha moment. I know God really loves me but I think it's through tough love.It's like He puts me through these hardships to prove His love.
2 You don't know how frustrating it is to have one side of body stronger than the other. My whole right side is stronger.I used to be left-handed and now I'm trying to relearn how to write right-handed. Do you know hard that is? Try it.My left leg takes steps better,but that's just because I feel like I have to overcompensate for that side. Arg! So frustrating! O well . Better me than somebody else. Right?
2 DC was awesome! So much fun! I can't wait to go back!Discovered a few things about myself: I can do stand and pivot transfers easily, I don't like alcohol in my coffee and my claustrophobia and the metro don't mix
2 Well I'm the proud owner of two non existent big toenails! The left fell off in his hand ( Ouch ) and the right he filed and cut down to match. At least I don't have to pay for a pedicure for the next year lol.
1 The surfing went great and it was so much fun! I fell partially off the board twice. So I didn't drown or burn but a shark bit off my toenail! Okay really Mom was not paying attention and ran me into a table. I really hope my toenail grows back ( it is the big toe). It doesn't hurt terrible but it is really ugly! O and they did really catch a little shark about 50 feet from me surfing. I was surfing and didn't see ( Thank God ) but Mom got it on film! I'll post the videos
2 The pool was so much fun today! Since I go surfing Saturday I asked them to dunk me some to practice holding my breath but then that turned into them putting me on a make shift surf board and dragging me around the pool and making waves for me
If you can't understand my dynavox in the video, Hello my name is Jessica Davenport and I would like to tell you my story. In 2004 at the age of 19 I had a massive brain stem stroke from birth control. Well, I guess I should explain my stroke more. I started smoking cigarettes at 15 and started taking birth control at 16. At the time,smoking was not a huge no no while taking birth control so I stupidity continued. So smoking combined with birth control combined with me having a rare blood clotting disorder caused me to form a clot somewhere in my body and go to my heart. If it would have stayed there I would have died,but I have a patent frament ovali (hole in my heart) and that caused the clot to go to my brain stem and cause a stroke. So the hole in my heart was an unknown stroke of luck. No pun intended. Even though I can't walk or talk yet giving up is not in my vocabulary and my numerous quad girl videos proove that. Please continue watching my progress an
Do you like sushi? Today mom and I went to the Riverfront here and they have a sushi bar. I have not had sushi since before my stroke. It was so good and really easy for me to eat. Stuck together and bite sized.
2 My Mom and I found and had converted to DVD some of my old home videos from right before my stroke. I like watching those videos because they're funny and physically ( walking and talking ) I want to be that girl again but mentally never again. Drinking beer and smoking pot pretty much every night to forget about my day? That is actually really sad. Days were filled with stress and anxiety and my night just drowned it all away.That is why I'm so grateful for my stroke .
It is seriously a curse to be this height and in my situation. The only time I can walk in the pool is if somebody's tall enough to walk with me, I don't really fit on beds and things, they have to adjust equipment to my height, I have to sit low in my chair to use my dynavox correctly, etc. I know it sounds like I'm complaining but it is seriously annoying
Got to have my great weekly massage this morning. and my massage lady Mary hasn't been able to give me a full body massage in a couple weeks because of time stuff. So today she finally got to do my whole body but when she got to my legs she kept saying "Holy crap Jess are you tightening your legs or is that muscle? " Muscle baby!
Funny joke +my grandmother explaining her vast knowledge of strap ons=me laughing so hard I can't breath last night me,Mom and Granny go to do our usual Saturday thing of dinner at Carl,Chris and Austin's. Mom and Carl start talking about this lady they knew way back when and Carl says "I wonder which one is the strapper and strappee" assuming me and mom would be the only ones to hear it and get it. But then my innocent little 80 year old grandmother says "I know what strap ons are my girlfriend's told me about them the other day "
Super excited about this Saturday because me, mom,Nataja and Melissa are going to see Jurassic park in 3D! Aside from me loving the movie it is the first 3D movie I have been able to really see since my stroke. After my stroke my eyes have wandered bad and until I started vision therapy I thought I would never see correct again. But with therapy over the past few years my eyes are pretty much better. I have been able to get the 3D effect with my therapist but this movie is the big test!
I was just thinking I'm so happy and honored God picked me to go through this! There are billions of people in the world and He picked Jessica Maria Davenport from Halls Crossroads in Knoxville, TN. That is so cool!
Guess what I just got! My new "cotore" leg braces. They aren't too uncomfortable but they will take some getting used to. I have to get bigger shoes though. A pair of descent looking 12W female tennis shoes, yeah that's going to be SO easy
They should really give you a pamphlet when you leave the hospital in a wheelchair > 1 you need to put your body on a schedule. Bathroom, eating, etc > 2 you need to schedule your outings around your body's schedule > 3 you can no longer eat what you want when you want > 4 your body isn't your body anymore. Everybody see's you naked and grab your ass to transfer you. Get over it! > 5 go out in public even though you don't want to > 6 you get and deserve fabulous parking. Even though you see who use it and DON'T need it really > 7 you need to learn to trust people with your body. You don't have to trust people with everything but trust they will not let you get hurt or die 8 things are no longer on your time 9 always remember the sayings "Don't bite the hand that feeds you " and "Don't judge a book by its cover " 10 suck up as much pain as possible 11you just plain gotta deal with stupid shit all the
Guess what i did yesterday! Took a few steps by myself! I actually weight shifted,bent my knee and took a step. Didn't know I could do that! Although with all the stuff on me and people around me I'm surprised I could do it lol. Less stuff and more steps with time.
I almost cried today from happiness! Mom and I went to the Cheesecake Factory with one of my techs ( "my sister " ) and when we were done sis went to work and mom and I went to the mall next door. When we were walking past Gymboree and mom said "I love that store, when you or your brother have kids Im going to be in there constantly ". I wanted to cry. That's the first time in a long time she included me having kids too!
So doing this book made me realize something incredible! I got both of my tattoos on the 17th, my stroke was on the 17th and I lost my virginity at 17. That is 4 unplanned things for me. 1+7=8 My favorite number is 2. 2x4=8! Hold on I need to sit down
So we (me,Mom,Granny, Aunt Chris and her sister Marsha) went to see Silver lining playbook and it was a really good movie. But something happened, I practiced my eye convergence during the movie and now they are staying practically fixed! It is freaking me and everyone out.