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Showing posts from August, 2013


I actually want to talk about a subject I have avoided talking about in this blog.It is my favorite subject to talk about,but the not having it in my life right now is frankly embarrassing for me.I'm just going to rip-off the Band-aid and say it dating and sex. I just know I'm going to get emails from my family,Jessica Maria you shouldn't talk about that.But you all deserve the truth .I haven't really been in a relationship or had sex since my stroke .There I said it !I don't think I could truly date someone while in the wheelchair .Don't they say you can't love someone else until you love yourself ,and quite frankly I don't love myself in the chair .The whole no sex thing sucks though lol.


I have been starting to feed myself lately with my left hand and you would think that because before my stroke  I was left handed it would be easy for me ,but it's not .My body has been using mostly my right side for the past 9 years and my left arm feels almost foreign to me .But I don't give my left arm enough credit for what it is capable of . I know it has been a long time but it is still weird for me to talk about my body not comprehending like that

just keep smiling

I hate having to lie and fake happiness to somebody. Two of my friends are going on a trip this weekend to near my hometown and I'm genuinely happy for them,butwhen they told me I was like fighting back the tears


Well my index toenail is pretty much gone now. Lol! There was an evacuation drill and pool had me in a shower chair and rushed me and my legs are long and before I could scream there it went partially off. It hurt but it's really funny! O well that toenail was about to come off anyway. Man I'm just falling apart, my right cheek is broken out and people keep running me into shit!

scared shmared

I'm embarrassed to admit it,but lately I've been a bit lax in my exercising and trying to do activities on my own.I think because my body was progressing physically so fast it scared me and part of me wished I miraculously get better and fast forward through being scared.But I  like to be scared,I need to scared to do better.So today is a new day!

The dance

Do you have any weird phobias ? I do haha. I have a fear of my head falling off or my neck being broken! I know it is stupid but if I die from decapitation I want "I told you so " on my headstone. 2

stupid blood

So I've been researching like crazy my blood clotting disorder and found out some interesting things, it's kind of common, I'm supposed to start taking certain vitamins ( because I have a deficiency ) and I have to increase my intake of certain foods ( dairy,meat and fish ). I already told the doctor about the vitamins and I can increase my dairy and fish consumption. But meat, seriously? I don't like meat! Let me get back to you on how much meat.


I found out the name of my blood clotting disorder, MTHFR a1298c. I guess ignorance is bliss and I just figured I didn't know I even had it before my stroke so why care now? But then I realized I need to educate myself to educate others and if you youtube this lady named Jamie Horn, I had the same symptoms as her before my stroke!