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taboo

I actually want to talk about a subject I have avoided talking about in this blog.It is my favorite subject to talk about,but the not having it in my life right now is frankly embarrassing for me.I'm just going to rip-off the Band-aid and say it dating and sex. I just know I'm going to get emails from my family,Jessica Maria you shouldn't talk about that.But you all deserve the truth .I haven't really been in a relationship or had sex since my stroke .There I said it !I don't think I could truly date someone while in the wheelchair .Don't they say you can't love someone else until you love yourself ,and quite frankly I don't love myself in the chair .The whole no sex thing sucks though lol.

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This happened in the ER during the stroke  The main doctor kept doing sternum rubs on me, and I kept getting so annoyed. For those of you who don't know, sternum rubs are when they rub the bone in your chest with the palm of their hand. They do them to wake you up. Part of me knew what he was doing, and the other part of me didn't and thought he was trying to cop a feel. He kept doing the sternum rubs, and I kept smacking his hand and scoffing and saying to myself, “Dude! Enough, quit it!” Thinking back, he was probably as annoyed as I was for the misunderstanding.